The E! Channel Investigates A Common Place

First: "E News" interrupted "Chelsea Lately" with the "Breaking News" that Michael Jackson's funeral may or may not have begun. Like it was a tornado warning. Seriously.

Second: The "E News" lead story that followed "Chelsea Lately" was "what made Debbie Rowe lose it on the paparazzi?" Well, as you can see from the video here, it's pretty damned obvious: the photographers are shoving her, and she's telling them not to "f**king touch" her.

Hm, what could it be that's upsetting her and making her "lose it?" Maybe that random predatory strangers are f**king touching her? The comments on this YouTube video are typical. She's a dangerous, crazy bitch. Well, then, count me among the Crazy Bitch crew. And throw in most of my friends, too, I think.

There is an unwritten rule for stranger encounters: Touching explicitly prohibited. When a woman says "don't touch me" she means it.

A creepy guy asking creepy questions, or following you, or continually attempting to make himself the focus of your attention is one thing - it can be unsettling, unnerving, and irritating.

But when said person touches you? Sound the alarms. I've said "don't touch me" with a steely chill I could hardly believe more times than I can count, and I'm not exactly hitting up the clubs every weekend.

We teach pre-schoolers that unwanted touching crosses the line. So why should we give the gutter press greater interpersonal freedoms with our fellow American Citizens than we give any other random person on the street? Because after all, that's all these jackasses are - random persons on the street taking unauthorized photos of a complete stranger. Why do we let them stop traffic, trespass, stalk? And why do we patronize media outlets that utilize these unauthorized photos? The impediments to total consumer awareness are so frustrating, but the blind acceptance of this ridiculous photographic phenomenon is depressing.

PS: No, I do not know the individual in the above photo. By googling "creepy guy" this gentleman was lucky enough to pop up in the first ten. He is apparently the lead singer of the band These Arms are Snakes from Seattle. The caption for the photo says "looks like a creepy guy, right?" I can't say I disagree.