Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A Light in August?

So, amid the emotional swirl of vast uncertainty - namely, will I get accepted to a PhD program? (looking increasingly unlikely, but with 10 schools left to report) - I thought it was a good time to take a break from worrying about it, and to take a break from transcribing interviews for my totally legitimate on-campus job, to write down a few things that have brought me joy in the past couple of weeks:

1. John Oliver is more clever than you.
Confirmed. John Oliver, of The Daily Show, came to UVA to give a stand up performance that probably won't be surpassed any time soon.

He opened with an explanation of how we all had the opportunity to speak with his brilliant British accent, but we had to go and dump all that tea in Boston Harbor ("at least you could have pre-boiled the ocean, maybe added a dash of milk - I don't pretend to know how you take it!"), continued through the story of how he realized at 11 he would never be a professional athlete ("I wanted to be a professional athlete - [audience pause] - yes, it's true, f*ck you, Virginia!") to his equation "If Nigeria has a coconut, and the United States wants that coconut, what does Nigeria have?" the answer somehow ending up with "no coconuts and a minus mango"

All my lame attempts at transcription are hopeless, of course, but honestly, it was the funniest 45 minutes I've seen in a long time. One hundred percent clever, intellectual, contemporary, smart-kid humor. I loved it.

2. Seeing There Will Be Blood
It's like everything I love wrapped into a big celluloid package:

Frontierism
capitalism and technology impinging upon settler culture (not much of a garden, but lots of machine)
Fascinatingly bizarre religion-in-isolation
An overabundance of masculinity
Turn of the 20th Century culture
Father/son intrigue
and American Mobility

Plus it was just pretty!

3. A new job fact checking things about stage productions of Uncle Tom's Cabin - more money = good.

And here's one that was so annoying it was extremely pleasurable to rail against it:

4. This article ("Ten Guys Women Should Run From") on Cnn.com (technically Oprah.com), particularly the section - "The Virtual Lover":

WTF? Seriously? Someone was paid to write this exercise in being asinine? Aren't Oprah and her ilk tired of the whole "people can be conveniently categorized and understood as such" schtick? Not to mention that, according to this article, women should run from virtually every man who isn't already thirty-five and pulling in over a hundred grand a year. Maybe this is a target audience issue - does any woman under the age of thirty really consider Oprah inoffensive and relevant, and if so, can you please come to Charlottesville? I'd like to have a word with you.
But the most egregious offense of this article is the section "The Virtual Lover" which tells women that they should run from a man who will not have sex with them in the first month or two of a relationship, saying:

"A surprising number of great romancers out there never get around to having sex. To the date-weary woman, this can seem like not the worst combination, but beware. Eventually he will blame his problems on the smell of your breath or the size of your thighs."

So, the fact that a man does not want to have sex necessarily makes him a jerk who's really hoping that if he gives you enough time you'll correct your physical imperfections. Because he's crazy? Because he's blaming you for his impotence? What the hell is this article talking about, and could it be anymore committed to gender stereotypes? Apparently, it's impossible that a man might refrain from having sex with a woman for ethical/moral/personal/any other totally legitimate reasons. Because men are sex maniacs, didn't you know? Because men are inextricably bound by the (re)actions of their penis.
Right.
All I'm saying is that if this shit were written about women - if there were an article advising men to dump women who held off having sex for six dates - the female community would be up in arms, and that, my friends, is the litmus test for gender bias. If the stick can't swing both ways, it shouldn't be swung at all.

And with that, I have to return to my totally legitimate job and my totally legitimate transcribing.

Tomorrow is another day ... of the same thing.
Cheers!

1 comment:

Helen E said...

Screw Oprah. Stop it with the librarian talk. Or at least with the high school talk, because librarians are sexy.